Can't believe your sister is still dating these nutsacks Nice onesie, does it come in mens? Oh I think you cum in men enough for all of us That's a real kick in the knackers bro Hold my spitter Darts, off boys You looking for a tilly, buddy? Let's have a donnybrook Pump the brakes, you take your shirt off but leave your sunglasses on, what sort of backwards fuckin pageantry is that? Do you want to fight with those shades or play pokerstars.com? Look at that fuckin treasure trail What's up wit your fuckin body hair, big shoots You look like a 12-year-old dutch girl Your aesthetician quaff that for you? You can kiss my ass-thetician. You guys do cross fit? You can cross-fuck-off Cross-fart. How many times you pull your horn today, bud? It's a hard life pickin' stones and pullin' teats but sure as God's got sandals it beats fightin' dudes with treasure trails. I'm about to give birth to a pound of fudge. This must be where the dicks hang out, eh? Our dicks hang out. Yours is like a mushroom in a corn field. Jesus, your breath could stop a Mack truck right now. What are you skids doing out of your parents' basement? Back door bandit Oklahomo Rear Admiral Uphill Gardener Bum bumper Menergy If you don't change your attitude you're gonna lose out on all the girls. Like the 12-year-olds or the 13-year-olds? Looking for love over the rainbow now, are we Dorothy? I hate you, but can confirm deer season's over. He's hunting bear now. Hey, shouldn't you boys be watching Friday Night Lights with a gym sock on your joy stick? Chirp Tim Riggins. You can go back to hammerin’ ass tonight, after you call your parents. Your lives are so sad I get a charity tax break just for hanging out with you. Ariana Grande looks like she's eight, tit-fucker. I'm giving the pre-school your plate numbers. You're fuckin' Winnie the Pooh, bud, go put some honey in your tummy. Jesus Christ, take Christopher Robin with you, you fucking loser. You wanna talk about lines you fuckin loser? I woke up to your mom rippin dick dingers off my foreskin, tell her to keep her hands off my scoots You know what's fucked Cor? The amount of times your mom's faked a jelly fish sting to get me to piss on her. Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom shot cum straight across the room and killed my Siamese Fighting Fish. Threw off the pH levels in my aquarium, you piece of shit. Fuck you, Riley, you should've heard your mom last night. She sounded like a window closing on a Tonkinese cat's tail. Sounded like: Ahhhhhhhhh. Fuck you, Jonesy, should have heard your mom last night. She sounded like my Great Aunt when I pull a surprise visit. Sounded like: Ohhhhhhhhh! I’ll send ya a stuffed crust to the emergency room you fat fucking pig! Your mom tongued my butthole so good I put her name in my phone as “roll up the rim to win” Ey Hitch, you gonna wear that or your technicolored dreamcoat? Your mum’s twat’s so swampy not even Duck’s Unlimited will touch ‘er. You suck so much Sou cock you have their pubes in your mustache. You get axed from the show and just start hammering slices or what? If the cup was a slice, you think you'd work a little harder ya fuckin pizza face? Holy fuck Frankie, you look like you love a good slice! Fuck you, Reilly, your mom wanted 11th hour anal and lied when I asked if the chamber was empty. It's one step forward, two steps back in this relationship. I'm fuckin' sick of it. Fuck you, Jonesy! Your mom ugly cried 'cause she left the lens cap on the camcorder last night. It's fuckin' amateur hour over there Hey Free, you know any brothers with sisters that fire digits up each other? Go eat another baconator ya fuckin manatee! Getting jerk offs Getting what? Getting jerk offs? It's jerked off you fucking infant I made your mom so wet, Trudeau had to deploy a 24-hour national guard unit to stack sandbags around my bed Hey, hey, can I grab your address? A little note in the mail to remind you of how fuckin' useless you are. Fuck you, Reilly, your mom molested me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I’m taking it to Twitter. I give your moms so much wood, they call my dick Beaver Lumber. More hockey players have your broad’s tits on their phones than have fuckin Uber Your lives are so fucking pathetic, I ran a 15K charity to raise awareness for it, you fucking losers. You’re a healthy scratch on a last place team You're such a waste of time, when's garbage day you fuckin loser? You're so fucking lazy, you'd be eligible for disability Calm down or you'll pop a neck zit. Fuckin pimple farmer Holy fuck, I nearly died of old age waiting for a date night to happen, you fucking lay over Fuck you! The only thing that sucks worse than your skating is your mom. She's all teeth and no suction. Fuck you Jonesy, I fuck your mom just in the attempt to give her a child she actually loves. Fuck you Reilly, your Mom had a mental breakdown after I told her she isn't as tight as Jonsey's mom. Can I grab your email? Oh, I'll just get it from your mom. Tell your mom to top up the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night! Fuck you Reilly, your mom loves buttplay like I love Haagen Dazs. Let's get some fuckin' ice cream bud. Gretz's daughter is a married woman you classless piece of shit, she wouldn't fuck you if you had Mario's dangles and Messier's Dick. Fuck you Betty-Ann, your breath is an existential crisis. It made me question my whole fuckin life. Three things happen. I hit you, you hit the pavement and I jerk off on your driver side door handle. Fuck my entire fuckin life, if one of yous lights a match, the whole fuckin Barn's goin up Fuck you Jonesy! Tell your mom I drained the bank account she set up for me, top it up so I can get some KFC! Suck my dick you fucking horse whisperer, you fucking come anywhere near me and I'll stick you right in the face you dutch inbred fuck. I'll break your teeth off at the gums you fuckin garlic eater. Y'know what's embarassing Cor? Your mum started an onlyfans try to make me jealous and I haven't laughed that hard since Liam's mom tried the same thing. Fuck you Liam, your mom made me a mixed cd with only three bands on it, Moist, The Whalers, Wet Whack Wax. Reilly your mom said she'd do anything to get me back so I got her running around town on my Pokemon Go. Fuck you, your mom likes me like she likes her Caesar's, stiffing on Sunday Mornin Hey Dorothy, Where's Tin Man? It's fucking garbage day you fucking broad! You two are like Starsky & Hutch except the movie flopped because you both are still alive. You guys ever watch Twins? Unlike you both they can actually make everyone laugh. Anyone else here need contacts? I can't see the tether that has these two tied together like fucking hot garbage. Hey do you know how to make friends? Or is the one over there more important than social networking? Are your parents divorced? Because I see that it didn't take you long to find your motherly figure. Does it take two to tango or three? Or did you forget how math and loyalty works? Hey when do you want me to start the GoFundMe? I can't just send everyone an email about how you want to become a dude so badly. I'd rather waste your surgery money at the casino than watch you get even more ugly. Would you be more pissed if I said my shirt was a cursed artifact? Hey how much does Lucasfilms hate you? They're tired of your constant bullshit you fucking deep throating piece of shit. Has Disney considered you obsolete yet? Your voice doesn't even sound like anyone from it. When's your fucking game of musical chairs ending? You two are tone deaf so it doesn't make sense. I wish adblock worked on you, everyone's privacy and peace would be restored if it did. Hey Dorothy, Where's scarecrow? I heard he's really good at keeping you isolated. Did you ever follow the yellow brick road to expand your social circle yet? What's better? Living in North Korea or isolating each other from making new friends? Should dating you be considered false imprisonment or a romance scam? You remind me of Ellen DeGeneres, putting on a big smile in front of a crowd while no one knows how abusive you are. Your pride complex is the reason why you have no friends, toxic piece of shit. It's a miracle that you actually talk to people, it's like trying to make communication with an uncontacted tribe. Can you stop being a pick-me? Your life isn't even that important. You two isolate each other so much I almost forget you both exist. Your current bf would be better off with someone that knows how prioritization works. Hey did you also shutdown his sexual innuendos in public or did you finally grow up? When are you both going to talk everyone else in the room? We're not watching your high school play for the rest of the night. Hey Pinocchio, quit spouting bullshit before I snap your nose in half. I thought you two would've been caught by the cops by now, they still consider you both schizophrenics! Want me to sign you up for Broadway? Since you fuckin love being the center of attention. Did you both snap out of your mushroom trip yet or are you still only able to see each other? If you can't make friends then take some molly, that'll get you out of your fuckin fantasy shell for once. Hippies can make friends right? Now I know why that isn't your lifestyle anymore. Hey which one of you is the dog and which is the owner? I'm not up to date with this roleplay bullshit. You guys ever see any crop circles while on acid? Or do you still only see each other? You know what's fucked? Talking to you, because it's considered second hand embarrassment being around you. Holy shit you two should get the guinness world record for the longest staring contest How do you two do social gatherings since you only notice each other? Anyone who survives a conversation with you should get a purple heart. Your personality reminds me of the spring equinox, melting and never to be seen again. Do you guys share a bunk bed or does he sleep in the dog bed next to you? Are you actually introverted or is that an alibi for not wanting to make any new friends besides him? When are you going to do your pick me act? I need a reason to leave. The best highlight of this conversation is when you stop talking. I heard you're a professional neglector, is that why you have no friends? My heart feels cold around you, is that the second hand effect you give off? Your personality is so fucking bad not even Scientology wants to give you a free personality test! Would you like some prescription glasses so you can see everyone else around you besides him? Are you fucking tone deaf or do you like to keep him in the spotlight all the time? Shut the fuck up before you go on another trip, fuckin mushroom farmer. You should take molly so you feel included, fuckin hippie. Hey you think if I did acid like you, I'd become loner as well? You're the reason my friends can avoid toxicity. Your guys' let's play of Chained Together is so boring, go make friends already holy fuck. Does anyone even go to your TED Talks? I should be tweaking off Tylenol just to put up with your useless ass. Do you still mentally abuse people or have you gotten better at hiding it? You should be considered a terrorist at this point, fucking love bomber. Hey is your terrorist group called Tearjerker? I figured it would be since you love breaking hearts. Do you ever find the time to learn how to treat people right? Fucking succubus. You should get a library card to read up on how to respect people for dummies. You're the worst torture device that's ever existed. Have you ever tried waterboarding your own emotions instead of someone else's? I'd rather you have your so-called zoomies than talk to us, fucking loser. Do opioids work better than Tylenol? The headache won't go away you fucking witch. It's great that your hair never stays one color, it's like an identity crisis of it's own. My suicidal tendencies increase every time you two exclude everyone around you. Can you both shut the fuck up? Fucking attention seekers. What more do you lie about? Wanting more friends or being lonely? Want the receipts gone? Buy me a hard drive shredder you bitch. It's never your way with that fucking shitty personality of yours, fucking lippy mouth cunt. Do you even know how to talk to people or do you still lie to everyone about being mentally drained? You don't know shit about socializing, fucking infant. Quiet down amber heard or you'll catch another court case. It's crazy that you hate me when your reasons are just as invalid as you actually giving a shit. Are you mad at me because I managed to set myself free from you? Sorry not sorry. Do you know how to attend social gatherings or is he too high maintenance for that? Do you ghost your boyfriend or him as well? Poor bastards. Only a year younger than me and you're incapable of social integrity. Aurora borealis, stays around longer than you ever did.